Drop me a line...
Photographic Endeavors October 07, 2006--Saturday @ 4:07 PM
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Greg & I have new pictures.
Capt. Jack & the governor's daughter
You love my Coke-sniffing boyfriend.Words are flowing out like endless rain into a paper cup...nothing's gonna change my world...
Meow October 02, 2006--Monday @ 12:28 PM
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I hate the way I'm feeling.
You know that feeling when you thought things were going well, but they might not be as well as you thought?
Yeah, me either...
You know that whole 'curiosity killed the cat' thing? Meow.
I couldn't even finish listening to Come What May from Moulin Rouge! soundtrack. What's going on?
You know how much I like the whole ambiguity thing.
I think I actually did very badly on my Geography mid-term. It's only 10% of my final grade, but still. I heard people talking about how it was much harder than they thought it was going to be; my lab partner said she studied for seven hours & she's still unsure of her grade. I didn't study that long. I have this horrid characteristic of not being able to retain much information overnight, so when I study beforehand, I don't remember much, but when I try to study in the morning, I end up falling asleep...this is why I'm looking forward for classes I don't have to study for. It's a bad habit, I know. I don't like school. I really am trying though--it might not seem like it. I have to be honest & say that school is not that important to me right now; I work to get good grades, but I've been killing myself by doing that for the past decade. I can survive with getting lower than an A. I got a C in History last semester when I only had three classes & I still got my scholarship. I'll be okay. I'm not good in science & history, by the way. [har]
There is a woman over here who keeps coughing like mad. I think she's going to explode...or throw-up. Let's hope it's not the latter.
I think sleep would make me a bit better.
Prayer too...I really don't feel able to pray. [why do I have to be such an emo kid every now & then?]
Words are flowing out like endless rain into a paper cup...nothing's gonna change my world...
J&Y...J&D September 29, 2006--Friday @ 11:39 AM
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So, apparently, I am now revered as the Yoko of our band [who has a show coming up on 10.13.06]
That's right, kids, two of the members of said band are now in a dyadic relationship [we think Greek is so much cooler]
I wonder if he's gotten asked about it at school.
Sneaky little kids, only changing 'status' on MySpace...waiting to see if there's a ripple.
There's been quite a bit of a ripple outside of school, that's for sure.
Blame it on Dawson's Creek. You have no idea.
So go ahead, call me Yoko. We don't mind being John & Yoko; Fr. Nathan 'TheRev' Monk & Nina love J&Y.
You can also call us Joey & Dawson.
He's going to loathe this blog, I bet.
Words are flowing out like endless rain into a paper cup...nothing's gonna change my world...
Two Surveys September 27, 2006--Wednesday @ 11:49 AM
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I have nothing I really want to say right now...here are two surveys [the first was done yesterday] since I haven't done any in quite some time:
The "Older People" Survey
(Meant to be completed by those ADULTS out of high school)
Tired of all of those surveys made up by high school kids?
'Have you ever kissed someone?'
'Missed someone?'
'Told someone you loved them?'
'Drank alcohol?'
Here are some questions for the people who are a little more mature... Okay, okay... OLD FOLKS like us......
1. What bill do you hate paying the most?
I technically don't pay bills yet... [off to a bad start on all this 'adult' stuff]
2. What's the best place to eat dinner?
McGuire's
3. Last time you puked from drinking?
never
4. Last time you got drunk & danced in a bar (not a club)?
never
5. Name of your first grade teacher?
Mrs. Loeffler
6. What do you really want to be doing right now?
sleeping
7. What did you want to be when you were growing up?
voice actor
8. How many colleges did you attend?
am at UWF
9. Why did you wear the shirt that you have on right now?
Beatles...are...life [har]
10. GAS PRICES! First thought?
they're going down
11. If you could move anywhere and take someone with you, where would you go and who would you take?
I'd take Beatles friends with me to England
12. First thought when the alarm went off this morning?
hold on... [my mom woke me up again 20 minutes later, thankfully]
13. Last thought before going to sleep last night?
I cannot function right now...I'm so sad...I hate waking up [I woke up at 1:30am to head back home...I'd fallen asleep on the floor & apparently did not stir though Greg & Sam had tried to wake me up]
14. What errand/chore do you despise?
anything to do with fixing my car
15. If you didn't have to work, would you volunteer at an art gallery?
maybe
16. Get up early or sleep in?
sleep in
17. Who is your favorite cartoon character?
hmm...I always change my answer; let's go with Dib from Invader Zim
18. A secret that you wouldn't mind everyone knowing?
I hate trying to read normal circular clocks because it takes me so long to figure out what time it is
19. How many joints pop when you get out of bed in the morning?
I've recently stopped doing it as much, but I still do my back
20. What is the biggest amount of $$ you have made from a yardsale?
never had one
21. Your favorite lunch meat?
turkey...real turkey
22. What do you get every time you go into a McDonald's?
heart attack
23. Beach or lake?
hmm...lake today
24. Who do you stalk on MySpace?
I'm not telling
25. Favorite guilty pleasure?
car-dancing to crappy music
26. Favorite movie you wouldn't want anyone to find out about?
Grease
27. What's your drink?
water...unless Nina makes me something spiffy at coffee shop
28. Cowboys or Indians?
hmm. I'll say cowboys for no reason really
29. Cops or Robbers?
robbers get to hide their identity, but cops get to have bulletproof vests...hmm
30. Do you cheer for the bad guy?
at times, yes
31. What Hollywood star do you think resembles you best?
psh
32. If you had to pick one, which cast member of "Lost" would you be?
I only watched a few episodes...I'd be the one that dies first, I bet
33. What do you want when you are sick?
to not be alone
34. Who from high school would you like to run into?
April
35. What radio station is your car radio tuned to right now?
I don't do the radio much
36. Do you like the person who sits directly across from you at work?
I work at a photography studio
37. If you could get away with it, who would you kill?
[har] I recently had a farcical discussion like this. I'm going to say Mark David Chapman, though I really wouldn't; I do think he should've had something done to him more than incarceration
38. What famous person would you like to bring back from the dead?
John Lennon
39. What famous person would you like to sleep with?
ah!
40. Have you ever had to use a fire extinguisher for its intended purpose?
no
41. Last book you read for real?
Blue Like Jazz
42. Do you have a teddy bear?
quite a few, but they're all in boxes
43. Strangest place you have ever brushed your teeth?
walking around the house...I don't know!
44. Somewhere in California you've never been and would like to go?
Santa Barbara
45. Number of texts in a day?
none--they eat up my minutes
46. Do you go to church?
yes...hardcore Anglican kids
47. Pencil or pen?
both
48. Coke or Pepsi?
eh...I fell into the grasp of Coke for a day last month...I wanted to die
49. how many jobs have you had?
1, technically
50. What do you want to achieve in life?
to do what I'm meant to do
Think fast! Write the first thing that pops into your head.
1. My ex is: from quite a few years ago
2. I am listening to: Sun King [The Beatles]
3. Maybe I should: do my homework/study
4. I love: hoodies
5. Politicians are: omnipresent
6. I don’t understand: why it's so easy to freak out about little stuff
7. I lost: a bracelet a couple of weeks ago
8. People say that I: am a variety of different things; depends on whether or not they like me...
10. Love is: a many splendored thing, love lifts us up where we belong, all you need is love!
11. Somewhere, someone is: hungry
12. I will always: believe that I'm much more fragile than I appear to be
13. Forever seems: like quite an adventure
14. I never want to: alone... [emo kid response]
15. My cell phone is: a piece of crap held together with blue painters' tape
16. When I wake up in the morning I: groan
17. I get annoyed: with too many things
18. Parties are: never a place for me, usually
19. My pet is: psychotic
20. Kisses are the best when: they actually mean something
21. Today I will: stress out a bit, study, stress out a little more [har]
22. Tomorrow I will: take an Art History mid-term & hang out with Becca
23. I really want: for everything to slow down
Words are flowing out like endless rain into a paper cup...nothing's gonna change my world...
What World Is This? September 26, 2006--Tuesday @ 12:43 PM
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Everything is...not fun recently.
My computer decided to die last night when I needed it for an assignment. I then had to use Greg's computer at 1am then find out the floppy disk drive doesn't like me. He was already asleep, so I couldn't go get him to fix it. So I had to write it this morning before my chiropractor appointment [which I already had to get up early for] only on the laptop that my parents haven't ever connected to the printer. I had to email the paper to myself then get on their clunky desktop computer after I got back from my appointment.
Now here I am. About to quit. Everything. I just want to stop right now.
But I cannot. There are these things called obligations & responsibilities. Both, I do believe, I have too much of.
I cannot understand why everything is just exploding. My stuff & Greg's stuff got stolen. My computer died. I have friends yelling at me for all sorts of stuff. Relationships are being stomped on because of misunderstandings. Things don't seem to be working out, even though that's what I really want. I cannot get enough sleep because I'm doing schoolwork; I can't do schoolwork early because I go to school full-time, have a moderately-stressful job & am in a band for which I have to learn how to play bass parts & strum guitar for a show that will most likely happen on October 13. I'm trying to keep my head above water but it feels like I'm about to be submerged if one more thing happens to me or someone I love.
Yet I do not sink.
I may falter, which people have been bringing to my attention, saying that perhaps it's not because I'm doing what's right but am doing what's wrong. This is the first time that someone has told me that bad stuff might be happening because I'm not doing what I'm supposed to. I even posed the question to Greg last night, knowing that he too would approach it level-headedly, regardless of the answer. We both feel that I'm not doing anything purposefully wrong. Sure there are little areas here & there that need work, but certainly not as much as before. I'm doing better as my own self, but everything surrounding me seems to be pressing in, seeing how much I can be condensed & still function.
Yet I feel near-peace.
I am a bit flustered. People say I look like a zombie [to which I say watch your back, I might eat your insides] but it's because of all of this. My body no longer knows how to handle this. Mentally, I think I'm fine. Everything else, though, is going steadily down. I'd venture to say that I'm more logical than I have been, but all of this is happening.
Yet I am not wholly-afraid.
I'm a bit paranoid of 'what next?!' because things have been happening in intervals of a few days [keep a look out for Thursday, guys-har] but I'm not about to die because of these events. I've said before it's just stuff. It's just that it's working at ruining my morale, if you want to call it that.
I want to pose questions here, but I don't want them to be answered, for they cannot be fully answered by us:
What am I doing wrong?
Why are things shifting about while I feel like I'm growing stronger?
Why have those who are close begun to have negative feelings about me & what I'm doing?
Why do I feel like I have tremendous backup but am still near death?
Why am I being hit on by homeless guys downtown? [har]
I don't know. Unlike my other blog, I really don't want any feedback/'answers' though I can't necessarily tell you what to do. Encouragement is cool, though I haven't been getting alot of it lately. Decide what you want. I'm not sitting here whining--I'm attempting to explain a state of my life in which I'm not being goverened by my emotions/reactions, but am having all sorts of things thrown at me, waiting for me to react. Prayer is neat too. Not just for me, Greg too. He's in the same boat, really.
Words are flowing out like endless rain into a paper cup...nothing's gonna change my world...